Well, I've made a decision. I've decided to take a year off. I hate the idea of it, I hate that my class will go on without me. But here's the thing:
If I don't go, I suffer. If I do go, everyone else does.
That's not right. So I'm going to wait a year and try the lottery again and, please God, I'll get something close to home, because I won't be able to get funding again for two years (one of the joys of student loans).
I'm (sort of) at peace with it. It's still hard, especially after how hard I've worked, but in the end, it's my family that counts.
I'm looking forward to the new year, to really getting into helping my prof with research, to helping Moz with work, to KNITTING with abandon, to getting back on track and then, getting back to school.
In happier news, I just made my first baby sweater and man, is it ever cute. My Mom said, "I want one. I have nothing to put it on, but I still want one."
Thinking about you, my friends. Your grace and courage are an inspiration.
5 comments:
I just read your message on CLC's blog. Thank you so much for reading, for reading all of our stories and not running when we talk about our horrific stories of loss, at first they are horrible but as you've seen they are in the end stories of infinite love.
You will be a great midwife. A great asset to the medical community. Wishing you well wishes.
I'm glad you could make a decision, I know how hard the up in the air has been for you. . .
Here's hoping for next year.
Bummer about the placement. You are doing the best you can with what life has handed you and that is all you can do. I am really glad that you are at peace with your decision. It helps you know you made the right one. Everything will work out, it always does.
Blessing on your new decision! May this year lead you in the right direction...This world needs good midwives like you :)
Sorry I'm so late on this...
I am glad you made a decision! I hope it brings you much peace. I'll be rooting for you this year as you step into new opportunities and challenges!
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