Now, I honestly believe that you bloggers know me better than my MIL and her fam.
She made up her mind many years before Moz and I got together that I was the "rudest person she'd ever met" and I'll tell you why in play-format.
Two Hands and her friend Sock Hands (Two Hands' best friend IRL) enter the kitchen in which future MIL and SIL are sitting
Two Hands: Hi (apparently too quiet to be heard)
SIL: HELLLLOOO with valley-girl flair (apparently offended that Two Hands did not acknowledge her)
Two Hands: (with furrowed brow at exaggerrated response) Uh, hi
That, my friends is the nugget of BS that my MIL and her
So she interprets everything I do as a person who is rude and out to get her.
When Moz and I first got together, I went over to her house in an effort to make amends (being the bigger person -fat lot of good it has done me). She told me that Moz "would have gone for a pole" after his ex dumped him. Riiiight. Thanks.
I just left the rehearsal dinner for my SIL in which she gave me the stinkeye all night and then expected Moz to have read her mind and KNOWN that he was supposed to hang out with his sister and driver her back to my MIL's before her upcoming nuptials leaving me to figure out how to get everyone home. In the end, I just left, with more stinkeye and whispers between
What she doesn't understand beyond the fact that I am not, really, a bad person, is how much GUTS it takes to drag my sorry butt out to these things knowing how much she dislikes me and that the possibility always exists of her dropping a bomb on me. I mean, I get nauseous thinking about it. Moz thinks we should just cut off contact because, according to him, he has tried "all of his life" to compromise with her to absolutely no avail, but not being someone who likes to give up on others, I balk at that idea. She ascribes Moz' lack of contact with her and her family to my evil influence (althought I try very hard to MAKE him be nice to them). I'm kind of at the end of my rope here.....
What would you do? Knowing that she will always suspect me and my motives? Would you keep butting your head against a pointy wall that spews acid, or have a happy life without her?
3 comments:
Wow, that sucks. What would I do, you ask? Well, also being the stupid person, and in a similar situation, I continue to try to make my SIL like me. (Three of them do, one doesn't.) It's actually working, as we had several pleasant conversations this weekend. It's not easy, though, and some people CANNOT be reasoned with. Only you know which side of the line this one falls on. Good luck!!
I'm living a similar experience and wish you better luck than I'm having.
Coming from someone who has not talked to her MIL for almost 2 years now, I highly recommend cutting her out. Similarly, my husband gave up on his mother and cut her from his life. She was continually rude to me after we got married and got even nastier for no reason at all while we were doing IF treatments, at one point telling me she "had no desire to be a grandmother." But the final straw came almost two years ago when she sent me a nasty email about something I had said that had nothing at all to do with her. At that point I said, "Screw you! We're done!" I haven't talked to her since, and it was the BEST decision I ever made. Why keep people in your life who make you miserable? Especially where your hubs is telling you to cut her out. Mine told me to cut his mother out shortly after we got married, but like you, I wanted to try to get along with her despite her nastiness. It totally wasn't worth it. She brought so much more loathing and negative energy into my life than she did anything else. It was amazing how good I felt after I decided to be done with her. There is absolutely zero reason to tolerate bad or rude behavior, especially when it is unwarranted, as was my situation. Let your MIL and SIL be that way. That is their issue and their baggage. You don't need to help carry it.
As a side note, NONE of my husband's family talks to his mother anymore because she just cannot be nice to anyone.
Post a Comment