One of the things that has really bothered me from the beginning of starting this program is the lottery process.
We are expected to submit choices for our clinical placements and then go through a lottery process to see who gets what. We recently did that and I didn't get any of my choices. Now I have to go through another lottery for placements that didn't get filled and hope that someone will trade with me. If not, I have to move. Now I know that I'm as blessed/lucky as a person can get to have kids, I KNOW that. And now this stupid program is saying to me that yes, we help people become parents, but when they are parents we don't give a shit about them anymore and will happily rip them from their families for our own purposes. I know I could NOT try to be a midwife, but I think that Moms happen to make good midwives (not to say that non-Moms don't). Personally, I think Moms or people who have to care for other dependents should be exempt from the lottery process. I think the midwifery program should categorically say that we care about people who care about people and want them to be midwives so we will do what we can to help them, but they don't. They say, "we warned you this might happen. Take it or leave it." Well, I may just leave it. Because it's not worth it to leave my children. It's not worth losing out on some of the most precious time I have with them when they're small. It's just not worth it. I'd love to care for women and their new babies, but not at the expense of my own.
3 comments:
Ack. I'm so sorry. That's a really hard decision to make.
That is one thing I totally don't get either. My sister has lived in three different states over the last 5 years because my brohter-in-law went to medical school in DC, then got moved to a different state for his internship, and once that is over, they will get moved again if he doesn't get residency in the state in which they currently reside. I remember when he went through the whole lottery process too. It just seems like such BS. I understand that there are a lot of people who need to be placed, but I also understand that the medical field is severly understaffed. I mean, can't they work out SOMETHING to make everyone happy?!
It would be sad if you had to drop out at this stage, but I am with you on making that choice if it means being away from your kids. Family is always a higher priority.
I really hope things work out for you so that you can stay in the program and not have to make a choice.
Thank you for all your wonderful comments on my blog. I appreciate your friendship.
I just saw this on my reader (I'm a bit backed up!), and wanted to say that I'm thinking of you.
Waiting for our match was just horrible...it was so stressful. Hopefully I took the statistical bullet for you and you won't have to deal with making difficult choices. As it turns out, our move wasn't the worst thing in the world, though it seemed it at the time. But our situation is very different, so I hope everything goes well for you. Please feel free to email me if you need to vent!
Post a Comment